dating new normal

Dating In The New Normal

Hello mga tiga-Luzon! Mag iisang buwan na ang Enchanced Community Quarantine (ECQ). Muhkang ito na ang magiging new normal natin mga bes. #SocialDistancing is here to stay. Talagang mag-iiba ang mundo natin pagkatapos nito. 

Isang aspeto ng buhay natin ay ang love life. Kung paano natin i-hahandle ito pagkatapos ng ECQ, will be very different kaysa sa nakasanayan natin. 

Nag-lista kami ng predictions — ang maaring magbago sa dating life ng marami sa atin.

1. Swipe left, right, up and down. Time to look for love online.

So ngayon na bawal na ang social gatherings na more than 10, wala ng parties! Wala ng hook-ups sa bar, sa club, sa school, sa office, at kung saan pa. Time to learn new moves! Saan pa ba tayo makakakilala ng bago? Sa social media lang puede eh; it’s the new normal.

So revise mo na ang bio mo; sa Facebook, sa Twitter, sa TikTok, sa Instagram — let everyone know you are single!

Tapos mag-ingat din sa mga nag-cacatfish. Lately may nag viral. Haha!


2. Law of Supply and Demand: Cheaters will start to Retire from Cheating.

Mga praning! Madami na kayong kadamay. Sa mga cheater, mag file na kayo ng retirement sa pangloloko. Mahihirapan na kami mag-kalkal ng travel history niyo. Deym.

Also para sa mga patuloy na nag papaloko, if you have a chronic cheater na jowa, now is the time to let go.


3. People will Be more comfortable doing virtual sex and masturbation

#SocialDistancing to the max equals ORGASMIC EXPERIENCE to the max! How? Masturbate.

Having virtual sex (with your long-term partner only please) is clean, safe, sexy fun! Having solo sex, tho, is the ultimate sexual experience, no holds barred kasi! 

Sinasabi ba namin na masturbation weighs more than couple sex? Most of the time, yes. Dahil alam mo kung anong gagalawin para labasan. Control mo kung saan ka gagalaw at kung anong intensity. And using adult toys like vibrators, dildos and fleshlights will max you out more! 

Sure na sure ang ORGASMIC CLIMAX! Uy, basaan sessions na. 


4. One night stands will be at an all-time low.

Sobrang libog mo ba at i-ririsk mo makipag-sex sa isang tao na hindi mo alam ang travel history niya? Charot. Kung hindi ka mamamatay sa COVID-19, baka mahimatay ka sa laki ng hospital bill mo. 

Kaya #StaySafe muna tayo, hindi lang sa COVID-19, siguraduhin din natin na safe din ang heart natin.


5. Courtship will be at an all-time high.

Mama, my manliligaw IS SO BACK!

Landiaan from a distance. Virtual mangliligaw. Let’s take time to know the person. Para iwas sakit, iwas HEARTBREAK, iwas hagulgul crying with Mama.


6. DFH / Date From Home

Dating via video call. Aba, papano kayo mag-dadate kung may social distancing? Give in na, chat mo na, then ask mo siya for a date.

Para sa mga LDRM (Long Distance Relationship Muna) ask your jowa on a date, sweet yun, ang tagal niyo na din hindi nagkikita. At sa mga nanliligaw palang, hindi ba sweet ang mag dress-up at mag dinner with crush? Awww.

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